To recap, there are eight elements of the Miick Safe Space® System, and each one stands alone. At the same time, each one integrates with the others to make a potent guide for effective dialogue, feedback, coaching, and conflict resolution.

Let’s take a detailed look at the next four elements of the Miick Safe Space® System for Conscious Communication:

5) 7-45-48

These three numbers come from one of two global studies that were very close in outcomes. The data is: In the translation of what we say and do, the people with whom we interact make meaning or translate meaning in the following ways:

• 7% from words spoken

• 45% from body language (there are at least 3000 facial expressions that mean exactly the same thing globally)

• 48% from tone of voice (what’s sincere verses sarcastic, honest or not, a sideways jab? Where is the voice “placed” in tone to make these valuations on meaning?)

This means that body language and tone make up 93% of the translation:

• If I want to ensure my effectiveness in communication, I had better work to have my tone of voice and body language actually match my words. (This alignment of 7 – 45 – 48 supports effective intention – impact)

• There is a paradox: My word choice is very important, not less important. And words mean less than body language and tone when the body language and tone don’t match the words I use.

Tools:

• Pay attention to sarcasm… it’s funny until its not… it’s clear but not.

• Be kind and courageous enough to actually speak the truth, instead of “hiding behind” sarcasm.

• Watch out for pronouns: he, she, it, they, that.

6) Moose in the Room

To name a “moose” is a courageous act.

Most of us know the phrase, there’s an “elephant in the room,” or “wow, that’s an 800-pound gorilla.” Notice the impact in a meeting or training when it seems that “everyone” is holding back some dialogue about an issue that needs to be addressed, yet “no one” is willing to name it.

Often times, one person has the courage to name the issue and then gets in trouble. An alternative, our alternative choice, is to immediately name the moose in the room, the unspoken issue. Our expectation is that we lead meetings with naming any moose that causes drama or gets in the way of our individual or collective success.

Naming “the moose” is far more than simply having an “open door” policy. Being celebrated for naming a moose, that we expect the moose to be named in support of our collective success, is a powerful and potent action. Fear of speaking the unspoken slows us down and impedes our success through the use of Purpose and Values. The most potent way to mature your company or family system is to name “the moose”.

Moose start out small and grow exponentially the longer they remain un-named. Naming any moose allows each of us to laugh at the humanness of making meaning, making up stories instead of checking our story. Moose can easily show up on a daily basis. Name it, shoo the moose away, and stay present!

You know there’s a moose, when the real meeting happens after the meeting; or when someone says, “Oh, don’t talk about that…”; or “Yes, but… “

Tool:

Name the moose.

“I wonder if this is a moose?” or “I have what feels like a moose.”

Start a meeting with a check-in with each person naming a moose. If more than two people have the same moose, we’d better deal with it.

When a moose is named, its power and size is diminished; use purpose, values and Conscious Communication tools to discuss any moose, any time.

7) Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a potent part of Conscious Communication. Honoring confidentiality builds TRUST exponentially. Confidentiality simply means: That what’s said in the room stays in the room.

Tool:

Share the energy and learning from a meeting; share excitement or challenge.

In training, in meetings, in one-on-one conversations, we do not share the name of individuals named as examples. We share that people did or do profound work, or challenging work within themselves taking the risk to use conscious communication, or to name their truth, then dishonoring confidentiality. We do not share what they shared in confidentiality.

Yes:

“As a group we used our Purpose and Values to discuss budgets and decisions that have impacted our team and our members. We had a really honest conversation and used Safe Space to build our power as a team… the experience was great!”

No:

“Michelle went on about frustrated parents impacted by our budget cuts with the child care.”

8) Make “I” Statements

There are two parts to making “I” statements: “Singular I” and the “Collective I.”

Part 1 “Singular I”:

I speak for myself, based on data, my truth or experience, sharing my intention, sharing my inside out, naming the unspoken or my truth.

Yes:

“I have a real concern about how we’re making budget cutting decisions.”

No:

“Everyone’s really upset with the budget cuts.”

Part 1 continued, I own my attitude and actions:

Yes:

I am conscious of not making I/you statements.

No:

“I am so hurt by what you’ve said to me.” “You make me so angry.” “I feel like you’re really being a jerk.”

Yes:

“I can feel myself hurt from our discussion.” “I can feel anger building up inside me from what I’ve heard.” “I realize that when we talk I end up feeling really judgmental.

Part 2: “Collective I” Statements

Making “”I statements at the group level is more challenging. I need to pay attention to my intention! Do I INTEND to be part of the group? Is my intention to be “outside the group”? Is my goal to build the energy of the group? I need to pay attention: to be conscious of my choice in language!

Most important with collective “I” statements is to not worry too much about getting “it right.” Practice is what will move the skills each of us has in making effective collective “I” statements.

Making “Collective I” Statements

From the model above, at the group level: What follows are examples of making “I” statements at various levels of system within a group.

At the personal level:

“I do my best to make I statements whenever I speak” “I consciously do my best to make I statements when ever I speak.” “I own my decisions and my actions.”

At the collective level, or the group level, that is, when I am part of the group:

“Its my wish that each of us makes I statements whenever any one of us (or each of us) speaks.” “Each of us makes I statements when ever any one of us speaks.” “Each of us needs to own our actions.”

At the group level, as a group action:

“I’d like each of us to do our best consciously, to make “I statements.” “We all need to consciously use I statements” “At work, we each own our actions.”

As leader outside the group:

“I need you all to make I statements.” “I need each of you to make I statements” “I need you to own your actions.” “I invite you to own your actions.”

As the leader “inside the group:

“Each of us needs to make I statements” “I need each of us to make I statements.”

Two pointers to pay attention to in our discussions, coaching, and feedback:

1. Watch out for “But”

The word “but” tends to negate all that’s said before it.

“You’re doing a good job but, ______.”

Instead try: At the same time; or As an alternative.

For example, “But” can easily negate anything and all that’s been said previously. “But” tends to stop “energy.” Instead practice using phrases like “at the same time” or “as an alternative.”

With but: “You’re a good person but you are not doing your five-step greetings.”

Lose the but: “You’re a good person, and I know you can do more with your five-step greetings.” “You’re a good person, and to take your positive impact further, I know you can do more with your five-step greeting.”

2. And… Watch out for “Why”

The word “Why” can tend to make one shut down (a little or a lot). Two examples of “why”:

Why did you do that? Why are you doing that?

Some alternative possibilities are:

I’m interested in your choice _______. What’s motivating you to ______.

How could you do that differently? What could you do instead?

Safe Space® for Conscious Communication can make our relationships more successful both in business and in life. Schedule 30 minutes with Miick to get the basics on how these elements work in real life applications.

The post The Next Four Elements of the Miick Safe Space System® for Conscious Communication™ appeared first on The Miick Companies.

There are eight elements of the Miick Safe Space® System, and each one stands alone. At the same time, each one integrates with the others to make a potent guide for effective dialogue, feedback, coaching, and conflict resolution.

Let’s review the first four elements of the Miick Safe Space® System for Conscious Communication:

1) Track data, and be aware of meaning making.

Data is simply non-debatable. It’s the information we can see, hear, touch, and experience. For example, if the data shows that Steve has been late to work for each of the last three days, there are different ways to approach this.

Meaning making: Steve doesn’t care about work. He is having real problems in his life.

If I simply make some sweeping statement about Steve, I will be less successful in my coaching, my management, and in modeling effective leadership. For example, to call Steve out as always being late will likely result in an argument or at least a hassle.

Data-based approach: “Steve, I am aware you’ve been late the last three days to work. What needs to change to not have this behavior happen again?”

2) My truth, my experience.

Each of us is unique, and because of our unique background, education, faith, and life experience, each of us is likely to have a different experience when listening, seeing, feeling, or watching an event. The differences may vary from only slightly different to extremely different.

Another way differences show up is in experience. Your truth about the difficulty or challenge with work after three years of experience may be very different than someone in their first day of work. Think about a different frame of reference, a different size “lens” to view the world. Simply ask, “How is your experience different than mine? What is your experience with this?”

Based on my experience (in life), I carry different truths than someone with different experiences. My truth, my life experience creates or least impacts the meaning making I hold about any given situation. All the more potent then to track data and share my truth of THAT data.

How can I own my own stories without creating a fight or conflict? These are some examples of what can be said to gain clarity instead of conflict or a fight:

“The story I make up is ______. Am I close?”

“My experience is ________. What’s yours?”

“What’s your experience of __________?”

Lastly, what’s our truth or our experience? As a company, as a team, we’ll get more richness in our decisions, actions, and growth by having, hearing, and honoring different truths then to the best of our ability holding all as potential truth.

And know that truths can be true until they’re not:

“Six months ago, we couldn’t actually trust what was said.”

“I trust what is being said, based on data (and supported by our purpose and values).”

3) Intention and impact

Did what I intend to have happen, happen? What did happen as an outcome of my actions? If there is a miss on the intention and the impact:

1. If there’s a miss with what I intended and the impact created, acknowledge the “miss.”

2. Back up; try again.

3. A very powerful action is to DEFINE my intention at the outset, to myself and to others.

Tools:

Actually say, “My intention here is ___________.” Then check in and reinforce to determine if your intention was effective or not.

4) Inside out, outside in

Based on my intention and the impact I want to create, I choose one of two options.

Inside out:

I share my inside thoughts vocally or with explicit non-verbal actions externally to the person or to the group with whom I am interacting.

Outside in:

1. Being aware that I am dominating a conversation, I choose to silence myself.

2. Being aware that I am cutting someone else off, interrupting someone’s comment, I can wait five to 10 seconds before speaking.

3. Being aware of consistent patterns:

– If one specific person speaks, another specific person speaks to maintain an order.

– Pay attention to see if you can break your own habits. Yes.

– Does one particular person rarely if ever speak? If so, ask to hear their voice! The person’s inside voice when heard will impact the group. Let it! Work to hear that unheard person.

– Do people have to raise their hands to get their voice heard? If so, slow down the pace or name the person. Consider using favorite phrases like “I am aware we haven’t heard from ______ since we began” or “Let’s hear from those who haven’t spoken yet.”

Safe Space® for Conscious Communication can make our relationships more successful both in business and in life. Schedule 30 minutes with Miick to get the basics on how these elements work in real life applications.

The post The First Four Elements of the Miick Safe Space® System for Conscious Communication™ appeared first on The Miick Companies.

The Miick Method: Building Brand from the Inside Out

At Miick, we work with you, digging deep to define and refine the purpose and operating values of your company, your brand, culture, and the team members in it. Here’s an overview of how the Miick Method works:

KNOW WHO WE ARE

Our clients achieve a deeper sense of purpose in their work. This is our goal. To arrive here, we want you to be able to answer the question, “Beyond income and profit, what’s the benefit, the experience and outcome our guests, customers and team receive from the products or services we provide?”

Our work with you to investigate, refine and clarify this sense of purpose, and the values that get you there, leads to highly motivated staff members. Each ends up working with a sense of passion in ways you’ve likely not seen before. Team members end up eager to demonstrate the pride in their participation. This understanding of purpose and values is of utmost importance. 

No professional sports team, dance troup, musical event, or military entity would send a team on the field without clarity of how to achieve the objective. Do your best, use your common sense would not be the siren call. 

We also work with you to define excellence. Once defined, instead of relying on common sense, the leaders and team work together with shared definitions of excellence, on purpose, using shared clear values in decision making. If this isn’t happening for you already… it’s time to call us.

COMMUNICATION

Step two of the Miick Method is to create a Safe Space for open communication. Leaders and team end up seeking out the positive, looking for ways to inspire rather than reprimand. Another outcome of Safe Space in your business is that the whole team learns to give and receive feedback, rather than “constructive criticism” in ways that build performance instead of undercutting trust.

Oh, by the way, clear communication that supports knowing who we are as a brand is most everything the millennials on your staff want. 

FISCAL SYSTEMS

Most owners and managers, regardless of industry, shield team members from fiscal information. We coach the opposite. The folks we work with end up better off fiscally by a multiple of three (three times average fiscal performance) when everyone understands the costs and opportunities of doing and building business. More so, we set up anticipatory fiscal systems that have you and your team looking forward instead of backwards at an old financial statement. 

HIRING SYSTEMS

From the clarity of knowing who we are, using effective, Conscious Communication that creates Safe Space, the crucial next step in the Miick Method is hiring. We work with you to define and refine an ongoing hiring system. Instead of hiring being an event happening at the last minute when someone leaves, hiring becomes a practice that builds our brand.

The steps defined so far support the folks we work with to create an opportunity for new team members to join by choice instead of chance. Purposefully instead of depending on luck.

[Here’s more on effective hiring to find a culture fit and high performance] 

TRAINING SYSTEMS

A natural outcome from knowing who we are, having fiscal clarity of top and bottom line performance, supported by safe space to give and receive feedback, supported by a clearly effective experiential hiring system, is training design. No clarity, no training, no execution. Period. We work as facilitator and guide to co-create experiential training that’s fun as well as effective! Outcome: brand execution. Work done on purpose and fiscal results that will take your breath away. Here’s more:

ONGOING LEARNING

Last in our six steps is the awareness that learning is ongoing! Especially in the 21^st century, if we’re not learning and implementing, we’re done. If you’re ready to keep learning and keep exploring opportunities to evolve performance, you’re ready for Miick.

We’re here for you.

This September, we’ll be putting The Miick Method to the test at our annual Leadership In The Fall Line® leadership development ski retreat. This unique opportunity will be held in Portillo, Chile. Learn more.

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