{"id":1864,"date":"2017-06-28T07:00:02","date_gmt":"2017-06-28T07:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.miick.com\/?p=1864"},"modified":"2021-08-20T18:20:02","modified_gmt":"2021-08-20T18:20:02","slug":"the-next-four-elements-of-the-miick-safe-space-system-for-conscious-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/miick.com\/the-next-four-elements-of-the-miick-safe-space-system-for-conscious-communication\/","title":{"rendered":"The Next Four Elements of the Miick Safe Space System\u00ae for Conscious Communication\u2122"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>As we mentioned in the&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.miick.com\/blog\/first-four-elements-of-the-miick-safe-space-system-for-conscious-communication\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">previous post<\/a>, Conscious Communication\u2122 doesn\u2019t happen in a vacuum. We detailed the&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.miick.com\/blog\/first-four-elements-of-the-miick-safe-space-system-for-conscious-communication\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">first four elements of Safe Space\u00ae<\/a>, and now it\u2019s time to look at the next four.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To recap, there are eight elements of the Miick Safe Space\u00ae&nbsp;System, and each one stands alone. At the same time, each one integrates with the others to make a potent guide for effective dialogue, feedback, coaching, and conflict resolution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Let\u2019s take a detailed look at the next four elements of the Miick Safe Space\u00ae&nbsp;System for Conscious Communication\u2122:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>5) 7-45-48<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These three numbers come from one of two global studies that were very close in outcomes. The data is: In the translation of what we say and do, the people with whom we interact make meaning or translate meaning in the following ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022 7% from words spoken<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022 45% from body language (there are at least 3000 facial expressions that mean exactly the same thing globally)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022 48% from tone of voice (what\u2019s sincere verses sarcastic, honest or not, a sideways jab? Where is the voice \u201cplaced\u201d in tone to make these valuations on meaning?)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This means that body language and tone make up 93% of the translation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022 If I want to ensure my effectiveness in communication, I had better work to have my tone of voice and body language actually match my words. (This alignment of 7 \u2013 45 \u2013 48 supports effective intention \u2013 impact)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022 There is a paradox: My word choice is very important, not less important. And words mean less than body language and tone when the body language and tone don\u2019t match the words I use.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tools:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022&nbsp;Pay attention to sarcasm\u2026 it\u2019s funny until its not\u2026 it\u2019s clear but not.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022&nbsp;Be kind and courageous enough to actually speak the truth, instead of \u201chiding behind\u201d sarcasm.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2022 Watch out for pronouns: he, she, it, they, that.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>6)&nbsp;Moose in the Room<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To name a \u201cmoose\u201d is a courageous act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most of us know the phrase, there\u2019s an \u201celephant in the room,\u201d or \u201cwow, that\u2019s an 800-pound gorilla.\u201d Notice the impact in a meeting or training when it seems that \u201ceveryone\u201d is holding back some dialogue about an issue that needs to be addressed, yet \u201cno one\u201d is willing to name it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often times, one person has the courage to name the issue and then gets in trouble. An alternative, our alternative choice, is to immediately name the moose in the room, the unspoken issue. Our expectation is that we lead meetings with naming any moose that causes drama or gets in the way of our individual or collective success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Naming \u201cthe moose\u201d is far more than simply having an \u201copen door\u201d policy. Being celebrated for naming a moose, that we expect the moose to be named in support of our collective success, is a powerful and potent action. Fear of speaking the unspoken slows us down and impedes our success through the use of Purpose and Values. The most potent way to mature your company or family system is to name \u201cthe moose\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Moose start out small and grow exponentially the longer they remain un-named. Naming any moose allows each of us to laugh at the humanness of making meaning, making up stories instead of checking our story. Moose can easily show up on a daily basis. Name it, shoo the moose away, and stay present!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You know there\u2019s a moose, when the real meeting happens after the meeting; or when someone says, \u201cOh, don\u2019t talk about that\u2026\u201d; or \u201cYes, but\u2026 \u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tool:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Name the moose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI wonder if this is a moose?\u201d or \u201cI have what feels like a moose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Start a meeting with a check-in with each person naming a moose. If more than two people have the same moose, we\u2019d better deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When a moose is named, its power and size is diminished; use purpose, values and Conscious Communication\u2122&nbsp;tools to discuss any moose, any time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>7) Confidentiality<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Confidentiality is a potent part of Conscious Communication\u2122. Honoring confidentiality builds TRUST exponentially. Confidentiality simply means: That what\u2019s said in the room stays in the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tool:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Share the energy and learning from a meeting; share excitement or challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In training, in meetings, in one-on-one conversations, we do not share the name of individuals named as examples. We share that people did or do profound work, or challenging work within themselves taking the risk to use conscious communication\u2122, or to name their truth, then dishonoring confidentiality. We do not share what they shared in confidentiality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cAs a group we used our Purpose and Values to discuss budgets and decisions that have impacted our team and our members. We had a really honest conversation and used&nbsp;Safe Space\u2122&nbsp;to build our power as a team\u2026 the experience was great!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cMichelle went on about frustrated parents impacted by our budget cuts with the child care.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>8) Make \u201cI\u201d Statements<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two parts to making \u201cI\u201d statements: \u201cSingular I\u201d and the \u201cCollective I.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Part 1 \u201cSingular I\u201d:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I speak for myself, based on data, my truth or experience, sharing my intention, sharing my inside out, naming the unspoken or my truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI have a real concern about how we\u2019re making budget cutting decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cEveryone\u2019s really upset with the budget cuts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Part 1 continued, I own my attitude and actions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I am conscious of not making I\/you statements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI am so hurt by what you\u2019ve said to me.\u201d \u201cYou make me so angry.\u201d \u201cI feel like you\u2019re really being a jerk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI can feel myself hurt from our discussion.\u201d \u201cI can feel anger building up inside me from what I\u2019ve heard.\u201d \u201cI realize that when we talk I end up feeling really judgmental.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Part 2: \u201cCollective I\u201d Statements<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Making \u201c\u201dI statements at the group level is more challenging. I need to pay attention to my intention! Do I INTEND to be part of the group? Is my intention to be \u201coutside the group\u201d? Is my goal to build the energy of the group? I need to pay attention: to be conscious of my choice in language!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most important with collective \u201cI\u201d statements is to not worry too much about getting \u201cit right.\u201d Practice is what will move the skills each of us has in making effective collective \u201cI\u201d statements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn2.hubspot.net\/hubfs\/2617877\/Conscious%20Communication%20Safe%20Space.png\" alt=\"Conscious Communication Safe Space.png\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Making \u201cCollective I\u201d Statements<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>From the model above, at the group level: What follows are examples of making \u201cI\u201d statements at various levels of system within a group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the personal level:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI do my best to make I statements whenever I speak\u201d \u201cI consciously do my best to make I statements when ever I speak.\u201d \u201cI own my decisions and my actions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the collective level, or the group level, that is, when I am part of the group:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIts my wish that each of us makes I statements whenever any one of us (or each of us) speaks.\u201d \u201cEach of us makes I statements when ever any one of us speaks.\u201d \u201cEach of us needs to own our actions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the group level, as a group action:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d like each of us to do our best consciously, to make \u201cI statements.\u201d \u201cWe all need to consciously use I statements\u201d \u201cAt work, we each own our actions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As leader outside the group:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI need you all to make I statements.\u201d \u201cI need each of you to make I statements\u201d \u201cI need you to own your actions.\u201d \u201cI invite you to own your actions.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As the leader \u201cinside the group:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cEach of us needs to make I statements\u201d \u201cI need each of us to make I statements.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Two pointers to pay attention to in our discussions, coaching, and feedback:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1. Watch out for \u201cBut\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The word \u201cbut\u201d tends to negate all that\u2019s said before it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re doing a good job but, ______.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead try: At the same time; or As an alternative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, \u201cBut\u201d can easily negate anything and all that\u2019s been said previously. \u201cBut\u201d tends to stop \u201cenergy.\u201d Instead practice using phrases like \u201cat the same time\u201d or \u201cas an alternative.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With but: \u201cYou\u2019re a good person but you are not doing your five-step greetings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lose the but: \u201cYou\u2019re a good person, and I know you can do more with your five-step greetings.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re a good person, and to take your positive impact further, I know you can do more with your five-step greeting.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2. And\u2026 Watch out for \u201cWhy\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The word \u201cWhy\u201d can tend to make one shut down (a little or a lot). Two examples of \u201cwhy\u201d:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why did you do that? Why are you doing that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some alternative possibilities are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m interested in your choice _______. What\u2019s motivating you to ______.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How could you do that differently? What could you do instead?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Safe Space\u00ae\u00a0for Conscious Communication\u2122 can make our relationships more successful both in business and in life. Schedule\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/miick.com\/\">30 minutes with Miick<\/a>\u00a0to get the basics on how these elements work in real life applications.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As we mentioned in the&nbsp;previous post, Conscious Communication\u2122 doesn\u2019t happen in a vacuum. We detailed the&nbsp;first four elements of Safe Space\u00ae, and now it\u2019s time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1865,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,22,19,11,21,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","category-conflict-resolution","category-conscious-communication","category-purpose-and-values","category-safe-space","category-training"],"gutentor_comment":14,"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Next Four Elements of the Miick Safe Space System\u00ae for Conscious Communication\u2122 | The Miick Companies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/miick.com\/the-next-four-elements-of-the-miick-safe-space-system-for-conscious-communication\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Next Four Elements of the Miick Safe Space System\u00ae for Conscious Communication\u2122 | The Miick Companies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As we mentioned in the&nbsp;previous post, Conscious Communication\u2122 doesn\u2019t happen in a vacuum. We detailed the&nbsp;first four elements of Safe Space\u00ae, and now it\u2019s time [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/miick.com\/the-next-four-elements-of-the-miick-safe-space-system-for-conscious-communication\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The Miick Companies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-06-28T07:00:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-08-20T18:20:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/miick.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/Screen-Shot-2021-01-05-at-11.57.24-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"524\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"503\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Rudy Miick\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta 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